Mother’s day.

Q : What is one thing that you think your mother did exceptionally well as a parent?

 

My relationship with my mom has not been without stress, strain, and turmoil. I think, to some extent, that is how mother/daughter relationships all over the world are destined to go. From what I know about other people (only what they tell me) my relationship with my mom may have been a bit more rocky than most. But there are a large number of things that my mom did very well. And she deserves all the credit in the world for those. Here is just one of them.

My mom made sure that I am not a picky eater. Even as a kid, I wasn't exactly afforded the opportunity to be picky. While most kids my age were chowing down on chicken fingers, mac and cheese, and pizza, I was eating (and learning to cook) fun things like lentil soup, trout almandine, and ratatouille. Even the basics like school lunches weren't basic in our house. Most of the time, I walked the 2 blocks home from William H. Ray Elementary School and ate a hot meal with my mom and sister, since the lunches served in the Chicago Public School System. The food was pretty good. Heavy on ramen with scrambled eggs (which I still won't eat), and reheated leftovers. But when my mom wasn't going to be home to cook, or when I wanted to sit in the smelly, overcrowded lunchroom with hundreds of other kids, my mom packed my Gumby (don't mock, people.) lunchbox full of either super healthy sandwiches or thermoses of the ubiquitous egg-y ramen soup.

And ok, now you're thinking "well that sounds totally normal. Soup and sandwiches are pretty par for the course." I hear you. And when it was ramen soup, it felt pretty normal. I didn't get made fun of. But there were a lot of tuna sandwiches packed into that lunch box, and man, did they stink by lunch time. I remember getting made fun of a lot for my stinky tuna sandwich lunches, with no extra treats packed in. Other kids ate cookies. I ate fruit. I also got made fun of a ton when my thermos (which permanently smelled of ramen) was filled with "weird" things like ratatouille or lentil soup. I remember the "eeeew, what is that?!?" coming out of classmate's mouths, and I remember being envious of the other kid's wonderbread sandwiches, oreo cookies, and apples, perfectly peeled and cut into wedges. At this point, as a (slightly more) mature adult, I really appreciate all that. All the "eeews" and the "how can you eat that?" helped make me the ballsy eater, and ballsy cook I am today. Thanks mom!

So yeah, my mom's health-nut sensibilities got me made fun of. I was resentful at the time. But in the long run, they helped me develop my passion for cooking and for eating. I learned to cook so I could make myself lunches that I would like, and make dinners that the whole family would like, ensuring me leftovers that I actually wanted to eat for lunch and wasn't afraid to eat in front of my classmates. But my mom's giving me really healthy foundations to build on made it so that even now, I eat "stranger" than a lot of people my age, and probably better than a lot of my former classmates do. In that way, my mom inspired me.

Where mom made a ton of soups and stews, I make a ton of roasted lean meats and light pasta dishes. I don't necessarily use my mom's savory food recipes, though I guess I can say I've drawn inspiration from some of them. She made ratatouille-ish lentil stew, thick with eggplant. I make ratatouille the traditional French way, and make my lentil soup as a Thai style red curry, which, now that I think about it, mom would totally love. I'll have to make it for her.

A little bit of romance

At what age do you think kids should start dating? How old were you when you went on your first date? Was there anything you would change about the experience?

I think kids grow up at different rates.  In some ways I was a lot more mature than other kids my age when I was a teenager, but in some ways I was way less mature.  I read a lot and had some very unique live experiences under my belt even as a young teenager, but I was socially awkward, gawky, shy, and not necessarily the cutest kid ever. I had an awkward haircut and underdeveloped body and absolutely no confidence.  I think that my saying that kids today should date at a certain age based on my experiences, without social skills, social networking or even cell phones for most of my teenage life, doesn't make sense. Here's what does make sense.

Kids know about sex at younger and younger ages. It is all over the media (yeah, yeah, that argument again)  with shows featuring younger and younger kids having and enjoying sex.  Because, well, sex is fun.  The problem with this isn't honest portrayals of good hard fuckery, but with these very honest portrayals without a lot of education about how, when, and why to have sex.  Yes, sex is fun, but STD's, babies, and heartbreak really aren't, especially when still in high school. Aw fuck, I've digressed from the topic at hand.  moving right along.

Kids should begin dating when they're educated on all of the consequences of dating and the fun fun activities that go with. It may be 12, may be 22. That all depends on the environment they are raised in--both at home and at school.

I think I went on my first actual date at 13. I did a lot of co-ed hangout things before then, but 13 was the age of the first actual boy-girl hangout with romantic feelings. I remember enjoying it. I think he came away from the whole experience feeling a bit more than I felt.  I wish I had been able to tell him that instead of leading the poor guy on, but it was so fun to be wanted, especially at that very gawky phase in my life, that I kept my mouth shut and let him keep on wantin'.

Another thing I wish had gone differently is that I didn't tell my parents the truth, that I was going on a date with a boy.  My parents were fairly strict with me, and I thought they'd disapprove and say no so I lied. It set a precedence.  To this day, I haven't felt like I could be completely honest with my parents about my love life. I'd love to feel otherwise, but for now, that's the way it is.

theoretical nirvana

What is your favorite place in the world? What makes it so meaningful to you?

It is hard for me to define one favorite place in the world.  I have everyday favorite spots and special treat favorites.  Each of them are meaningful to me for different reasons.

Not too terribly long ago, I realized that I needed a place where I could go, zone out, relax, and regroup.  I live in a one bedroom apartment, so I decided to make my bed that place.  My apartment is a bit crazy, with interesting colors, lines, and artwork, but my bedroom, and my bed as an extension of that is calming. I have one comfy ass bed, with really nice, soft, high-thread-count sheets, and lots of pillows.  At the end of the day, when I hit the sack, it is my favorite place to be.  I love slipping into the crisp white sheets (ok, they're white because I can bleach off any stains) at the end of the night, taking a deep breath, and feeling myself sink just the right amount into the mattress. Perfect.  My bed is an everyday oasis for me.


As far as my favorite places that I can't just sink into every day, whenever I want, one would be the beach. I don't care what beach.  I've been to beaches here in LA, of course, since everyone goes to the beach in LA, but a lot of times they're not as relaxing as some of the more secluded beaches in the world, or even the lest touristy ones.  I have fond memories of a place called Pebble Beach on the south side of Chicago.  It wasn't a sandy beach, but one covered in lots of rocks and pebbles, and hundreds of thousands of pieces of sea glass. As a kid, I used to spend as much time collecting the sea glass as I did playing in the waves.  And I spent a TON of time playing in Lake Michigan.  I've always been a swimmer and a beach-y kind of gal. 


Another one of my my absolute favorite places on earth is on any airplane going anywhere new.  I love traveling and absolutely crave adventure,  so knowing that I'm on my way to someplace cool is one of the most exciting things in the world for me.  I've got bad seat-mate karma (I always end up wedged between two examples of America's obesity problem or surrounded by kids,) but most of the time, I'm able to zonk out and sleep through the flight or relax into the chaos.   Weird as it is, I love the sterile-ness of airplanes.  I love the vacuum sealed, pre-packed, single serving meals, the smell of airplane bathrooms, and the weird, under-sized, paper wrapped  pillows.  Yes, I'm one of those freaks.  I relish in the individually packed everything, travel sized soaps, and crappy magazines most people abhor.  I love me some air travel. 

First Post

Once upon a time, there was a girl who started a blog.  Actually, she started two.  One that was actually helpful in her career (she hoped), and one to get the creative processes rolling.  This is the latter. 

Here's me in a nutshell--

I'm a 25 (for now) year old chick in L.A (for now) trying to get a writing career started.  I'm a community college student (also for now) getting ready to transfer, waiting very impatiently to hear about where I get in (So far, U of Michigan) and dreading hearing where I don't get in (So far, UCLA, UC Berkeley, UC Davis, and NYU.)  Let's just say it's been a disappointing couple of weeks since letters started rolling in.

Background information--

I was born in Washington DC, grew up on the south side of Chicago, and, after a couple of false starts, moved myself to La La Land, studied cooking, worked as a chef, studied journalism, and decided that food journalism is right thing for me.  I'm excited about this new chapter in my life, and also nervous as hell.  Its gonna be fun to see where things go.


Where I live now--

I live in a one bedroom apartment in the charming San Fernando Valley, world capital of bad drivers, hot summers, ditzy girls, and lots and lots of porn.    Not saying I'm any of those things.  I'm just living somewhere convenient to my life.   I live with a 3 legged alligator lizard named stumpy who has escape plans and a death wish, in one of the coolest apartments on earth. 

Well, my friends, that's it for post number one.  Gonna go over and work on dessert or disaster (the other blog) now that I'm all warmed up and ready to roll.